Cerebration

Should I keep this blog alive?

2011-09-26T10:27:00.000+08:00

Actually, the more appropriate question would be, "Should I resureect this blog?" The last post was way back in 2008. I also created another blog in Tumblr, but that hasn't been updated too. I feel that I need to start blogging again in order to clear my thoughts and to finally have a purpose in life. Not that my purpose in life is to blog, but what I'm saying is, writing has always been a part of my life, and it would be a shame if I don't tap into it. I know I'm not making much sense to you guys now, but the important thing is I am making sense to myself. Hahaha!Anyway, I need to start doing the simple things that I enjoy - blogging, praying, walking, exercising. I'm not getting any younger, and I just need to follow the seven habits. Particularyl, putting first things first and beginning with the end in mind.I'm thinking of doing a charity intstitution visit for my 30th birthday. I'm thinking between Elsie Gaches, the government institution for children with special needs (e.g. autism, cerebral palsy, etc.), Virlanie Foundation in Makati (where my team had its outreach program last February), or Haven for Children in Alabang (center for street children). But of course, I need to make a few calls and get the ball rolling, so to speak.What else? Well, there's the upcoming Paul van Dyk event, Cream Halloween Ball event, Pelicula Spanish Film Festival, and of course, Wicked!!! I am blessed. Life is good.

addicted to mobile internet

2008-12-01T09:13:00.002+08:00

after three years of sticking with my old phone, i decided to get a new one. finally! i owe it to myself, the navi key of my old phone is pretty screwed up already anyway. imagine, the down function won't work. i already had a workaround system in place. but the bottom line is, i didn't have to. so I got myself a new phone.

so, after hours of googling all mobile phones, i have decided to purchase a samsung. my sister has a samsung, and she has been raving about how nice it is and all. so i took her advice and purchased one for myself. i had a different unit in mind, though. i wanted a phone that a.) has a nice camera, b.) has a pretty decent music player, c.) has a large memory, or at least one that is expandable, and d.) has internet connection via wifi, gprs,hsdpa.

i was thinking of purchasing the pda phone of samsung, but i realized i may not be able to utilise the pda functions of the phone, so that would be a waste. i finally decided on the samsung sgh-g810, which, as it turns out, is samsung's phone to compete against the nokia n95. not bad, eh? both have the symbian OS, have a 5MP camera, are slider phones and are of the same height. the samsung, however, is sleeker, albeit a bit on the thicker side.

what i found truly amazing (and addicting), is the fact that i could go online practically anytime, as long as i got a clear 3G signal or if there's wifi available. and that's now the main purpose of my phone. i mean, yes i still use it for texts and calls, of course. but given the fact that i got another mobile number with cheaper rates, i tend to just use it for the internet.

not that i'm complaining, mind you.

gk 08.08.08

2008-08-11T12:07:00.001+08:00

godskitchen. my 2nd anniversary. the perfect time to celebrate.

and celebrate we did.

some photographer took our picture during the event, and less than a month later, that photo appeared in an events calendar/magazine. amazing! of course i have a copy. for posterity, you know. maybe 10,15 years from now i shall look at it and smile at all the good times.

good vibes? hell yeah. thanks of course to claire. and bill, it was his first time to attend such an event. i hope he had a great time too.

i cant wait for chicane!

post: this post was super delayed, i dont even know what to put in here anymore.

it's that time of the month

2008-07-31T14:17:00.002+08:00

no, i dont get periods. hahaha! what i meant was, it's the last day of the month. therefore, catching up would be the theme for today. deliverables, feedback sessions, extra-curricular activities are some of the things i need to accomplish today. yes, i know - a lot. and yet, why am i writing this entry instead of getting my ass to start working? beats me. i figured i would thrive under pressure later during the day. either that, or i am one helluva procrastinator. my bet is the latter.

technically, this would be my first day of the week in terms of real work. went on a tour (yes, as in field trip) on monday, then tues-wed i attended a training. so how's my "monday" so far? aside from the fact that there's zero visibility due to the rain (is there even a storm? i'm totally clueless), it's been great so far. bumped into the auditors earlier at the comfort room. for a moment there i thought they would start questioning me and stuff. things have been pretty tense here at work coz of the internal auditing going on. i dunno until how long will they be here. hopefully by next week they won't be around anymore.

if the rains abate later, it's gonna be party time! havent gone out with my work friends for almost a month now. it's time to catch up with our drinking, too. hehehe.

they should've named it "The Joker"

2008-07-19T18:46:00.003+08:00

all these summer movies (it is summer in the states, after all) are giving me a celluloid kind of high. considering i have missed my chance of watching some good ones (get smart, for one), the recent ones i did get a chance to see are amazing. mamma mia, of course, is one of my favorites. but this latest one is so amazing, i have already seen it TWICE. one day after the other. you read right = twice. clearly, the dark knight is one of the best superhero movies ever made.

all that buzz about heath ledger getting a posthumous oscar has merit after all. he was that good. dont get me wrong, jack nicholson is a super talented actor. he did justice with his joker. but with heath? his joker is so twisted, so demented, you would think that he was born to do this role, and ONLY this role.

fast forward to february 2010: yes, heath won the Oscar posthumously. hahahaha!

lss for today

2008-07-18T20:47:00.003+08:00

Beautiful Things
Tiesto

Got up early, found something's missing
my only name.
No one else sees but I got stuck,
and soon forever came.
Stopped pushing on for just a second, then nothing's changed.
Who am I this time, where's my name?
I guess it crept away.

No one's calling for me at the door.
And unpredictable won't bother anymore.
And silently gets harder to ignore.
Look straight ahead, there's nothing left to see.
What's done is done, this life has got its hold on me.
Just let it go, what now can never be.

I forgot that I might see,
So many beautful things.
I forgot that I might need,
to find out what life could bring.

Take this happy ending away, it's all the same.
God won't waste this simplicity on possibility.
Get me up, wake me up, dreams are filling
this trace of blame.
Frozen still I thought I could stop,
now who's gonna wait.

No one's calling for me at the door.
and unpredictable won't bother anymore.
and silently gets harder to ignore.
look straight ahead, there's nothing left to see.
what's done is done, this life has got its hold on me.
just let it go, what now can never be.

So many beautful things
So many beautful things

Now what do I do?
can I change my mind?
did I think things through?

It was once my life - it was my life at one time.

respite

2008-07-02T20:55:00.003+08:00

i need a break. once again, i'm in a rut. i hope two days off from work will do the trick. the question is, when? this week is obviously out of the question, as i only have two days left before the week ends. perhaps next week? i can, but there lies the next question: where? or even, what? what do i do when i take a day off? get a massage? catch up on my reading and correspondence? i've got tons of books waiting to be devoured, from the classics to the less-popular authors. go to some far-flung province, hide away in a resort by myself? so not me, but i've always wanted to do that. hmm... get laid? no problems there, hahaha! i was thinking that getting laid would make me energized again, but somehow it didnt do the trick.

i need to get involved in something else. organise an event? which reminds me, there's this super long-overdue team building for the team. talk about a logistic nightmare: 16 pax spread over varying shifts. sounds fun, eh? note to self: start planning for it! take up a course, any course? only if my mom or sister would be paying for it. hehehe.

how about going out? oh, that's right: i've been doing that a lot lately. again! nothing seems to work, sigh.

density

2008-06-26T14:45:00.002+08:00

i have to admit, i am somewhat dense. especially when it comes to people's perception of me. not that i really care about what other people think, but sometimes i get still get surprised by it. i wouldnt really know if someone likes me (and not in the romantic sense, mind you) or not unless he/she tells me directly. unless my friends point out the signs, i'll remain obtuse. seriously.

the reason i am writing about it now is because lately i realized that i ain't no mr. personality after all. then again, i would never be mr. personality, for i am definitely not ugly. hahaha!

going back, it's just funny how people go through all the trouble of just making you feel that they dont like you. if it were me, i'd say let's just take it outside. but i know that would never happen.

okay, given the fact that i have detractors (or dementors) of sorts, i would just like to request for one thing: make them smarter? please. i told my dear friend about my predicament, and she just said, "please. dont they know we eat stuff like this for breakfast? give us something more difficult."

it gets pretty tiring, true. but hey, i've been here for a long time. and i'm still here. ha.

will monday night be a regular thing?

2008-06-18T14:26:00.002+08:00

last week a friend from work suggested that we go out after work on monday. so that's what we did. and we had lots of fun! great crowd, great beer, great music! loves it!

Wow - Kylie Minogue

2008-05-20T21:40:00.001+08:00

Read my lips, I'm into you
I'm into you
I can't resist
You're so hot (get me under the shade)
The spotlight's on
You creep into it
You like it and
Just the way that you dance
Just the way that you dance.

(Yeah yeah) Is enough to love me baby
(Yeah yeah yeah) Is enough to send me crazy
(Yeah yeah) Such angelic motion
(Yeah yeah yeah) You know you're made in heaven.

The way you walk, the rhythm when you're dancing
Every inch of you spells out desire
You're such a rush,(rush)the rush is never ending
Now
You got it, you're wow wow wow wow
You got it, you're wow wow wow wow.

The more I try, I try to stop
The more I can feel my antenna just sensing you up
And what can I do
I'm into you
I'm into you
Love the way that you move
Just love the way that you move.

(Yeah yeah) Such angelic motion
(Yeah yeah yeah) you know you're made in heaven.

The way you walk, the rhythm when you're dancing
Every inch of you spells out desire
You're such a rush,(rush) the rush is never ending
Now,
You got it, you're wow wow wow wow
You got it, you're wow wow wow wow.

W-woah ohh ohh,
W-woah oh,
W-woah ohh ohh,
W-woah ohhhh.

The way you walk, the rhythm when you're dancing
Every inch of you spells out desire
You're such a rush, the rush is never ending
Now,
You got it, you're wow wow wow wow
The way you walk, the rhythm when you're dancing
Every inch of you spells out desire
You're such a rush, the rush is never ending
Now,
You got it, you're wow wow wow wow
You got it, you're wow wow wow wow.

Wow.

i am not an auditory person

2008-05-18T15:47:00.002+08:00

which is very ironic, considering that my current post requires a lot of listening. and i do mean A LOT. which is why it takes me a long time to accomplish my deliverables.

i've been here for over four hours now, and i'm not even one-thirds done. grr... i was really hoping i finish everything today, so by tomorrow i will engage myself with other tasks at hand. this transitioning phase is not as easy as i thought it would. but i'm not complaining. it just challenges me to bring back the OC in me. in order for me to do that i would need to:

- finish all deliverables. that includes the grueling auditory task, plus sessions with my direct reports. the last one, i may add.
- clear my desk. this i need to do asap. after all, they'll be adding a monitor (i think it's 21-inches), since the laptop screen would be too small for the systems we shall be using. good luck with that!
- handle all housekeeping stuff - especially financials
- make my starbucks planner the love of my life (heck, i'm single anyway).

not too difficult when you think about it, eh? other things i need to accomplish include typing tutor (in order for me to type CORRECTLY), excel learnings (i have the tools!), working out and taking care of myself more. see? easy peasy lemon squeezy!

whew! the week is finally over

2008-05-17T00:37:00.003+08:00

"dig within me, turn all the secret stones
forests and fields, breathing with blood and bones
still no words we can speak, our paths have been chosen
but all trails that we trek,
should lead us back to here because our..."

- Love Comes Again

a classic tiesto song. it's exactly what i need to relax me. this was one helluva work week. i've been so busy, i forgot to watch american idol! of course, i knew it would be a David-vs-David final, but i was hoping i could watch syesha cry and wail while she leaves the show. oh well, perhaps i can youtube it later?

today was the most hectic. i had to step up and help the team - from attendance issues, system issues, even with work profile issues! not to mention my deliverable which has been long overdue. i have never let a deliverable lapse that long. it's embarrassing, i'm telling you. but at least i was able to accomplish it. talk about multi-tasking!

i was hoping i could go out and unwind tonight, but weather conditions prevented me from doing so. the winds were howling, and it's raining cats and dogs. i just hope that this isn't the official end of summer. pretty please, let this be a fluke and let the rainy season come in june!

i am amazed at how fast the internet connection here at this korean internet cafe is. talk about speed! considering that ours at work is not too shabby as it is, but these koreans want their internet fast. doubly fast.

tomorrow i shall be heading back to the salt mines, this time to become ahead of time. yes, i no longer want to procrastinate. since i am in a transition stage - even in terms of my appearance- i might as well include this in my list of changes. all for the better, right?

monday would be very interesting. let's see how tense the air will be once more. i can't write too much details about that. but i can tell you one thing: it won't be about me this time. halleluiah!

later.

realignment

2008-05-15T14:17:00.002+08:00

after seeing other people’s pictures, profiles and whatnots, i decided that a realignment of my priorities is necessary. thanks to these social networking sites, it’s very easy to see what friends, friends of friends, and even complete strangers are up to. if they are getting what they want, there’s no reason why i shouldnt be in a similar situation.

whilst i still do not totally know what my priorities are, i am slowly getting there. let’s take a look at some of the things that really make me happy: traveling. good food. beautiful places. beautiful people. music. art. movies. long conversations. reading. friends.

it may seem like i already know what i want. trust me, that’s far from the truth. i know that i shall realise it this year (if the predictions come true). until then, i shall just continue with what i’m doing. i am never one to settle for mediocrity, and i consider that as one of my strengths. so no matter what it is i’m doing, i give it my best.

how long will this realignment going to take place? i haven’t the slightest idea. but hey, at this point i should be through with being impatient. it will come, it will come.

makes sense to me

2008-05-07T16:56:00.002+08:00

The more I complain, the less I produce.

-taken from my colleague's note in our messenger

Last Night

2008-05-07T16:46:00.000+08:00

Last Night
Wifi & Siobahn

If I Told You Once,
I Told You Twice
You Can See It My Eyes
I'm All Cried Out
With Nothing To Say
Your Everything I Want It To Be
If You Could Only See
Your Heart Belongs To Me
I Love You So Much
I'm Hurting For Your Touch
Come And Set Me Free
Forever Yours I'll Be
Baby Won't You Come
And Take This Pain Away

[chorus]

Last Night (Last Night)
I Couldn't Even Get An Answer (Answer)
( You Said You Couldn't Get An Answer Baby )
I Tried To Call (I Tried To Call)
But My Pride Wouldn't Let Me Dial (Dial)
( But That Should Never Stopped You )
And I'm Sitting Here (Sitting Here)
( Sitting There )
With This Blank Expression (Expression)
( I'll Be With Ya My Baby )
And The Way I Feel
( Way I Feel )
I Wanna Curl Up Like A Child (Child)
( Ooh Baby...Oh No )

[Girl]

I Need You
And You Need Me
This Is So Plain To See
And I Would Never Let You Go
And I Will Always Love You So...I Will
If You Could Only See
Your Heart Belongs To Me
I Love You So Much
I'm Hurting For Your Touch
Come And Set Me Free
Forever Yours I'll Be
Baby Won't You Come
And Take This Pain Away

random thoughts

2008-05-05T16:32:00.003+08:00

while waiting for facebook to pull up, i decided to post an entry. no particular topic in mind, just wherever my fingers will take me.

i need to get out of this rut! financial rut, that is. but how can i, now that i am in charge of handling all financial obligations at home? it doesnt help that my dad keeps on screaming at me about these things either. death. as much as i would like to say something back, i cant. our relationship is not exactly a picture of perfect health, if you catch my drift. sigh...

i will pull myself out of this. i know i will. in the interim, i need to learn to LBMM. live beyond my means. ha! i know, i know - it's a tall order. but hey, work with me here. i am trying to get my life back on track, after all.

meanwhile, i am back on training. which means one thing: fixed schedule! nooo! hehehe. it may seem like i'm overreacting, but it is an adjustment on my part to actually follow a fixed schedule again. it's all good, i enjoy learning new things, meeting new people and that sort of stuff anyway. day 1 has ended, and i must say, it went pretty well. true, there were a lot of techincal glitches - error logging in, no access to the systems, etc. but hey, it's only the first day right?

like what i twittered a couple of weeks back - i need a realignment of my priorities. i think i am slowly realizing what it is that i want to do with my life. i just need to think about it more, i guess.

i wanna go to qc and visit my alma mater. up has never failed to make me feel good about myself. even back then when i was at my lowest, there is something about the campus which made me feel assured. perhaps it's the wide open spaces, the trees, the food (isaw!!), the architecture (hehehe), the fact that you are with fellow intellectuals. i dunno exactly. but it always works. i need a breath of up air. SOON.

guess this is all for now. later.

post-tiesto

2008-04-14T12:34:00.003+08:00

after (two) years of waiting, it finally happened. tiesto was here!

the party itself was great vibes of course. forget the lack of air-conditioning, the circumstances that hounded me before and even during the party, and other snafu. i had a blast, and that was all that mattered. it was great seeing friends there too. even before the party began, we were already hugging and smiling. it's like we all knew that no matter what, this will be one helluva night. and it truly was.

prior to this event, i said to myself that if tiesto played five tracks which i consider my favorites, then the the price i paid for the ticket would have been worth it. which tracks are these? in no particular order, they are: love comes again, break my fall, dance4life, adagio for strings, and in the dark. tiesto did not disappoint me. he played all these songs and more! even while writing this i remember how good it felt hearing those songs being played by the man himself. heaps of love to tiesto!

all is good with the world once more. hehehehe.

sigh...

2008-04-10T18:40:00.004+08:00

i'm tired. right now i feel so defeated. it's really hard to discuss this (especially here), but i'm at the point where i just wanna up and leave. of course, i won't do that. not that i can, anyway. i have too much responsibilities. and mainly because i care.

fuck. dont you just hate it? in spite of everything, i still care.

this is so distressing. i cant even organise my thoughts.

AAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're So Vain

2008-04-09T22:00:00.000+08:00

You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and....

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
Well you said that we made such a pretty pair
and that you would never leave

But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee and....

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you.....

Well I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all of the time
And when you're not you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and....

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you.....

so much for baguio

2008-04-04T08:26:00.001+08:00

baguio trip - cancelled.

at least for me. my choirmates are still going. it's so frustrating i swear. the thing is, i was informed a couple of days ago that i will have a week-long training starting monday. my baguio trip is on 5-7 april 2008. we planned it as such since april 7 is a holiday. which was perfect for me, since i get to have a vacay this summer.

apparently not. training will push through on monday even if it's a holiday.

this is so not right. i told my choirmate i won't be joining anymore. he was upset about it. he said i rarely get to join them in any out of town trips(so true). but it wont make any sense if join them just for an overnight thing. not worth my effort, time and money.

sigh.

summer capital, here i come (again)!

2008-03-26T13:59:00.002+08:00

april 5-7, 2008. my choirmates decided that for this year, baguio is the place to go! i can't wait to go, not because it's baguio (not really keen on going there on a summer weekend, a long weekend at that), but more of the fact that i have not joined the choir in any trips/gimmicks for the longest time. especially when they would go out of town. last year i missed subic. i also missed overnight trips to my friend's resort. to think it is just in the neighboring city! oh well...

but this time it's different. to show my eagerness, i already paid for my accommodation last week! now there's no backing up. not that i was intending to, anyway. so, what to do while in baguio? why, get laid, of course! hahahaha! fat chance of that happening, what with my friends and i sharing a room and all. come to think of it, it could be possible. there are lots of tourists, so more chances of hooking up!

before i hear, "slut!", let me say that it is only half-meant. of course, spending time with my friends would be my utmost priority. the tourist spots, i can let go of that. since i was there last year with my balikbayan relatives, i have no need, no desire to visit the parks, go horseback riding, etc. i could probably do some shopping for some clothes (ukay-ukay is the way to go!), if my budget would allow me to do so. and of course, the market. ah yes, the market. fresh veggies, fruits, meat. heaps of excitement! and the usual pasalubong snacks. choco flakes, peanut brittle, and my utmost favorite, good shepherd ube jam! heaps of love for ube jam. =)

i already told my mom about our baguio trip. hopefully she realizes that i am trying to make her send me money for allowance. such a funny word, allowance. i havent received one in years. but i definitely wont complain when i start getting one now.

ha. fat chance of that happening.

old friends, coffee, conversations

2008-03-25T22:17:00.005+08:00

tuesday night (march 18). after watching my cousin in his recital for choral conducting (bravo, kuya chris!), i went straight to greenbelt to catch up with my blockmates. they were having dinner at banana leaf. i never confirmed my attendance in this mini-reunion, so i didn't tell them i was on my way to the resto. however, my "surprise!" factor was defeated when i arrived at the restaurant. they already left! i figured they were still together for coffee or something, but what if they have left? so i had no choice: i texted my friend asking them where they were.

and so i went to coffee bean. there they were! it has been so long, it's not even funny. initially there were seven of us, but two had to leave early due to prior engagements. so there were five of us left. three of which were doctors. the other one has a master's degree from the netherlands and is a professor at my alma mater. and then there's me. working in a multinational company. one of the most recognized companies in the world.

in a position recently "demoted", so to speak. sigh... nope, they didnt demote me, but rather my position as far as job grade is concerned. long story, dont really wanna dwell on it. i'll only end up attracting negative energy, so allow me to go back to my post.

it was so refreshing hanging out with my old friends. we were able to update each other with what's going on with his/her lives. whom we have been sleeping with (hahaha!). our exes, sex lives (or lack thereof). what's going on with other blockmates. reminiscing on the good old days. heaps of fun. most of all, it was very comforting (to say the least) to be hanging out with people with whom you are in synch. same wavelength, great minds think alike, that sort of stuff.

it also gave me a wake up call. it's not too late. i am still destined for greatness. no, i do not have a messianic complex. i just know that if i will it, it will happrn. if you build it, they will come. see? law of attraction!

meanwhile, i have to finish all my deliverables before the month ends. and i also need to prepare for transitioning, since i am due for transfer anytime soon. i am so looking forward to a new environment. not that i dislike the one i am in right now, but hey, i am always up for something new.

later.

Break My Fall - Tiesto

2008-03-24T01:03:00.001+08:00

Break My Fall Lyrics

Quote for the Day

2008-03-24T00:52:00.002+08:00

"The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure." - Sven Goran Eriksson

taken from thinkexist. have a good one today! =)

Easter's resolutions

2008-03-24T00:27:00.004+08:00

once again, allow me to greet everyone a "Happy Easter!". this goes out to all, especially to my Christian brothers and sisters. i hope we all realize that this is the most defining moment of our religion. the fact that Jesus has resurrected is one of the main tenets of our faith. so, let us all rejoice and be glad!

anyway, i should stop, as i am not really here to preach. =) i figured, in the spirit of the season, i might as well have an easter's resolution list. this time, with the help of the secret (which reminds me, i still need to watch that flick/read the book), i shall ensure that these resolutions will happen. and, by posting them here, i now feel that i have an obligation not only to myself, but to the rest of the cyberworld as well. so, here goes nothing:

1) cut back on smoking - max of five sticks a day, eventually quitting altogether.

2) exercise - three times a week (one hour per session, at least). vary the routine to avoid boredom and plateau-ing. tennis, jogging, swimming, running, and of course, gym. enjoin friends to have moral support. lose body fat. enhance self-esteem. loves it! hehehehe.

3) blogging - twice a week, and not just the mood updates or quote for the day types. stuff which involves me actually having to use my writing skills (or lack thereof). consider this my first for this week. =)

4) on the dot-er at work - render 8-9 hours of work each day. since i dont have overtime anyway, i need to find ways to work smarter. which involves cutting back on social networking sites (facebook, friendster, etc) during office hours. better time management, including maximizing Outlook calendar, Starbucks planner.

5) moonlighting - barista? weekend tutor? money from blogging? first off, i need to find something that would make me earn money on the side. just as long as it won't interfere with my career. =)

that's it! inasmuch as i would like to add more stuff, i would have to limit it to five. i would rather have five resolutions and managing to meet them all than have twenty, but failing to meet a single resolution. so, i ask for everybody's support while i face these challenges head on. it won't be easy, but hey, i like being taken out of my comfort zone. i like being challenged. bring it on.

Happy Easter!!

2008-03-24T00:18:00.002+08:00

the team that was built in subic

2008-03-19T15:06:00.006+08:00

march 1-2, 2008. my team (yes, the entire team) went to subic for an overnight team building outing. organised by none other than yours truly, it was the first of its kind for my team. a milestone, as a dear friend of mine likes to say. hehehe.

it was very fortuitous indeed that our new teammates have joined us on march 3. so, it was a welcome of sorts for them. one new teammate mentioned to me that he was very surprised that they were already invited to this event, considering that, technically, they weren't officialy employees yet. i told him, "of course, that's why we scheduled it on this date, to make sure that you guys could make it."

anyway, the whole team is composed of 15 heads, plus my former boss (from the department which i came from originally) also came to join us (since he's the better half of one of my new teammates, so it all fits in perfectly). everything was planned carefully - from the hotel accommodation, to the actual team-building activities, transportation and itinerary. heaps of fun!

one of the best parts was when we went to ktv su. their tagline? "pressure meeting". now, don't go asking me what that means, for i never got the chance to find out. obviously, the girls in our team wouldn't agree in allowing us to discover this "pressure meeting". so i can only assume. hehehe. but dont get me wrong, i had heaps and heaps of fun there. it is, after all, videoke. their sound system was amazing! and their song selection was pretty current, too. the best part? we got the room, the booze and the sound system pretty cheap! considering that i must've downed seven or bottles of beer, we each had to pay less than P300. now that's heaps of happiness right there.

what is subic without duty free shopping? the next day, we went to hit the stores. i bought a lot of stuff for the house - milk, coffee, cereal, chips, chocolates, even dog food. knowing how much i enjoy the super (more than shopping for clothes or shoes), i had a field day there. again, heaps of shopping pleasure. hahaha. i cant wait to go back there. next time, i'll bring a list with me.

we got back to manila before 6 pm, which was part of the plan as well. it was tiring, yes. especially in my case, since i was driving the whole time. but i learned a lot during this trip. for one, i got along really well with my new teammates. this, despite the fact that we have different personalities. another thing i realized was that most of us are competitive. i encourage that, it keeps the standards high. always. so it was amazing for me to see everyone gamely participating at the activities, having every intention of winning.

anyway, my best buds and i are planning to go to subic this summer. one of my friends apparently has a place there, so that's one less thing we have to worry about. if you ask me, i can't wait.

quote for today

2008-03-19T14:28:00.001+08:00

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” - Winston Churchill

the love bug

2008-03-17T21:00:00.006+08:00

one of my favorite online pastimes is checking out social networking sites of friends and acquaintances. sometimes i do it anonymously, sometimes i intentionally let them know that i dropped by their site to check out what's been happening with their lives.

tonight was one of my anonymous viewing nights. i realized that one of my friends got married last december! good for them, they have been together for a long time already anyway (as in way back in college, but i think some time ago they broke up, but obviously they got back together). i havent seen them (the bride or the groom) for at least 4 years, so it felt good seeing their pics. brings back a lot of college memories, i'm telling you. in the off chance you're reading this, best wishes to you guys! i hope i get invited to your next celebration as a couple/family! hehehe!

aside from my newly-married friend, i was able to view three or four more profiles. and guess what? all of them are in a relationship! the love bug has bitten them all. all their social networking sites are filled with "couple" pictures. they have their bubus, their sweeties, their babes, their . now what is going on?!?! everywhere i look, it's "Me and Babe with Friends, 12 pictures", "Me and sweetie in Bora, 28 pictures", "Honey and I after movie, 6 pictures". no wonder i havent seen much of one friend these past few months. who knew that everyone's been busy with his/her special someone?!

can i just say, i'm jealous! hahahaha! not the jealous-i-wish-your-relationship-fails type, but rather the jealous-i-wish-i-have-my-own-bubu type. oh well, it's no biggie. it's not as if i'm not used to being single. before my last one, i was single for over two years. but hey, i'm still here. at these times, i'm really grateful that i don't fall into my old, low self-esteem, easily depressed self. i have friends whom i can turn to when i get lonely, i have my family, my dog Kinney, and of course, JC.

i must admit, there are times when i wish i were with someone. we all get that, right? i'm grateful that i have a job which i love. being new in my position, i now focus all my attention in learning as much about my post as i can. i know it will eventually pay off anyway. what i need, though (aside from my work), is a hobby or a sport. i hope i can find someone to whack tennis balls with real soon. even badminton sounds good at this stage. i wish i could find a really good (albeit inexpensive) violin tutor, who can provide me a refresher and challenge me to become really good again. i wish i get more time so i can read all the books that i want, and at the same time play PS2 to my heart's content.

the secret says all of this is possible. even though i've never read the book yet, i believe that everything is possible.

tiesto update

2008-03-14T15:34:00.003+08:00

a couple of weeks back, i was able to get a copy of tiesto's Elements of Life album. yes, the very reason why he has a world tour is because of this album. heaps of happiness.

i enjoyed listening to the album. i must agree with my friend claire, though. she said she found it a bit slow. perhaps i've been so used to his in search of sunrise series. now that i LOVED. especially the 5th installment - Los Angeles, and the 6th as well (Ibiza). but i'm not here to talk about that.

there are some tracks which have great recall. if i get the time, i would go more into those songs. but track 8 is my absolute favorite. it's entitled Break My Fall. for me, it's the new Love Comes Again. you see, the former has been my ultimate favorite tiesto song. it's still high up there among my list of favorite progressive trance tracks. but break my fall? heaps of love!

the first few lines of this song actually reminded of this EBTG song, "Missing". yes, the "and i miss you, like the deserts miss the rain" song.

will search for the full lyrics of the song so i can post them.

later.

cebu, cebu

2008-03-14T13:53:00.005+08:00

i was in cebu on feb 26. yes, it was for an official function. but no, i wasnt there to attend the meetings, seminars or whatnots. i was there to sing. yes, you read that right: my company is now employing my talents as well.

don't get me wrong. i am happy to do it. in fact, i was thrilled when i heard the news i'll be part of the group singing on that day.

it's just that... well, you know how it is when you travel, you'd like to absorb as much of the place as you can? the tourist spots (or otherwise), the people, the food - i want to experience it all everytime i am in a different place. i rarely get to travel as it is, and now that here's one opportunity for me to do so (for free at that), i squandered at the opportunity.

sigh... it's all good. i mean, i wasnt there for vacation anyway. but come on, i was already there! i am sure a lot has changed in the four years since i was last there. there's no use crying over spilled milk.

one good thing my trip has brought about, though, is the food. and the hotels. to be more precise, the food in the hotels. i was checked in at the waterfront hotel in mactan. it is literally beside the mactan international airport. the food was fabulous! for lunch, we had steamed lapu-lapu, plus veggies, soup, etc. a very satisfying meal. then we headed for shangri-la mactan, where the event took place. another gastronomic feast! we had fresh pink salmon. i swear, if it wouldn't result in my social death, i would have taken home some salmon. nay, a lot. but of course, i didn't. after all, big bosses from various global and regional positions were there. i am merely at the bottom of the food chain. a position of leadership, yes, but still at the bottom. hehehe.

i am hoping i would get the chance to visit cebu again real soon. perhaps i could save up for it? after all, the P1 flights are still in existence if i'm not mistaken. well, right now i don't think it's feasible, what with my outstanding loans and credit card bills. sigh... i really need help! but all is possible. the law of attraction... the secret...

poof! i'm filthy rich! =)

later.

Tiesto - the return

2008-02-10T15:37:00.000+08:00

oh my god, tiesto will be back here in manila! i was just surfing the net when i decided to check out his website. apparently it's the Elements of Life tour, which started in 2007.

armin in 2007, and now tiesto in 2008! life is sweet. i was crazy to have missed out on tiesto back in 2006. then again, i was hibernating during that time. anyway, it's on 19 april 2008. and try to guess the venue? it will be in alchemy! yes, the club in julia vargas. i'm a bit surprised to be honest. i mean, i was expecting the usual giant venue halls - picc forum, world trade center, one esplanade, or a.venue. but alchemy?!?! the world's number 1 dj is probably too big a superstar for the club. no offense, i enjoy alchemy a lot, but even their website says their capacity is just over 700. so how would everyone fit in the club?

unless this is one of those exclusive parties... if that were the case, i shall most definitely be there. hahaha!

heaps and heaps of happiness once more. now, i need to buy his elements of life album. go tiesto!

and make it happen...

2008-02-08T19:06:00.000+08:00

last song syndrome - remix of Irene Cara's "What A Feeling" from the Fashiontv Summer Session album.
yes, i am talking about flashdance. speaking of which, isnt j.lo gonna do a remake of this flick? i've heard that like three years ago, so i guess that didn't pan out. i dont think i've even seen the original. or if have, maybe it was during one of those betamax/vhs movie-viewing days at home. all i remember is that the girl was in tights. and of course, the leg warmers. hahaha!

anyway, i guess this song is sort of appropriate for me right now. there's a line in that song: "take your passion, and make it happen". problem with me is, i have so many interests. i am passionate about a lot of things. and what do i wish to happen? i hope i find out real soon. i remember sandy telling me back in november 2006 - before the end of this year, i will (finally) realize what it is that i really wanna do with my life.

i can't wait! here's to discovering. i'll keep you posted, of course. =)

what happens if you google "GOOGLE"?

2008-02-08T12:06:00.001+08:00

apparently, nothing exciting:

excuse for me not hiding my disappointment. hahaha! Ü

Time for some Moony love =)

2008-02-07T16:11:00.000+08:00

For Your Love
Moony

Weak, alone and in my messy world
Something’s missing
From this suddenly I freeze my heart
But I cant stop this feeling
That is screaming
That is screaming inside my soul
So I search and Im searchin

For Your Love
I could die for you
For Your Love
Break my heart in two
For Your Love
Climb a mountain high
For your love
Lost among her lie
Her lie…

Thoughts and words into my crowded mind
Were left unspoken
I’ve been building up a wall inside
But now I wanna break it
I’m just fed up
I’m just fed up with this game
Now I’m ready
I’m readyyyy

Free me from the chains that I’ve been given
From the looks that ive been carryin
Foolish things that ive been told
Now I’ll go to the top
Never fall I wont stopI’ll walk by what I choose
I will pay all my dues
I would die for a kiss cause its you that I miss
Cause im ready for your love
Ready for your love…

For Your Love
I could die for you
For Your Love
Break my heart in two
For Your Love
Climb a mountain high
For your love
Lost among her lie
Her lie…

post: shout out goes to Sophie, who will be my good luck charm this valentine's. hehehehe! thanks in advance! =)

February 16, 2008

2008-02-07T15:51:00.001+08:00

Guess where I'll be at on the 16th of February?

You got that right - I'll be watching MOONY! Suddenly memories start flooding in, hahahaha! Anyway, Clear (yes, the anti-dandruff shampoo) will be bringing Moony here at the Fort for their "The Black Parade" event. I can't wait! This is a very special Clear Black Valentine's concert indeed.

Now, I need to start looking for clothes. Of course, this will be an all-black night for me.

To hype me up for this night, I started playing Moony songs over and over again. Yes, I am talking about Dove, Flying Away, Acrobats, and the relatively more recent song, For Your Love.

Super excited for this event. what's even better, my best buds are very inclined to attending. I am talking about folks who havent really partied for the longest time. To have them joining would be a blast!

hey friend, it's your birthday!

2008-02-05T19:11:00.000+08:00

happy birthday, Misty!

wish you all the best. i'm glad to have someone like you here in Shell - colleague, choirmate, schoolmate, teammate (SCiP days), to name a few. God bless and know that i'm just here!

Because The Night

2008-02-01T21:24:00.000+08:00

Because The Night
10,000 Maniacs

Take me now, baby, here as I am
Hold me close, n' try n' understand
Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe
Love is a banquet on which we feed

C'mon now, try n' understand
The way I feel under your command
Take my hand, as the sun descends
They can't hurt ya now, can't hurt ya now, can't hurt ya now...

Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us

Have I doubt, baby, when I'm alone
Love is a ring, on the telephone
Love is an angel disguised as lust
Here in our bed 'til the morning comes

C'mon now, try n' understand
The way I feel under your command
Take my hand, as the sun descends
They can't hurt ya now, can't hurt ya now, can't hurt ya now...

Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us

With love we sleep, with doubt the vicious cycle turns, n' burns
Without you oh I cannot live, forgive the yearnin' burnin'
I believe it's time, too real to feel, so take me now, take me now, take me now...

Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us

24 march 2008?!?!

2008-01-24T12:56:00.000+08:00

i lent my new tiesto cd to my dear friend misty yesterday. today i had training from 10 am - 12 nn at a different floor. when i got back to my station, i found my cd on my desk. attached is a note which reads:

24 March 2008

Earl!

Super thanks!

♥,

Misty

i was weirded out. initially i thought this was a test of some sort - perhaps she wanted to check if i would notice the fact that she wrote down march instead of january. or perhaps because she is too preoccupied with other things, she totally forgot which month it is. i am trying to imagine all possible, rational explanations as to why march was written down. does this date have a significant meaning (an anniversary)? i found it really baffling.

fortunately, she was there at the pantry when i went to get a glass of water. i told her that she wrote down march instead of january, and we ended up laughing! well, i guess it happens to the best of us. she even told me she almost wrote 2006 instead of 2008. hmm.. regression, perhaps? hahahaha!

anyway, i told her: "let's see what will happen on the 24th of march." perhaps this realy would be a significant day for me (us both, actually). until then, i'm keeping the post-it in a safe place.

test blog through email

2008-01-22T12:38:00.001+08:00

more of exploring the features of my site. =)

new features

2008-01-22T08:37:00.000+08:00

try to figure out the new stuff i've added to my site. i'm still kinda new at this, so bear with me while i make some changes within the next few days.

"ayoko ng payak!" hahahaha!

M Party

2008-01-21T18:35:00.000+08:00

finally! just this afternoon, i got my invites for the M Party on Friday. i can't wait!!!

now, what do i wear? this would technically be the first event of 2008 for me. i don't consider my night outs as events. i mean, i hardly enjoy them anymore anyway. same people, same music (most of the time), same routine. but events are different. the crowd, the music, the whole vibe is different. especially this one - it has an open bar!

happy buzz, here i come! =)

blog reader

2008-01-19T16:34:00.000+08:00

i just realized: reading other people's blogs has become a pastime.

my friend actually recommended a blog site to me during one of our ym conversations. i pulled up the site, and i ended up reading his entries for like an hour. amazing! some people really have a talent for writing. i wish i have even half the skills he has. oh well.

there is another blog site that i enjoy reading. this time, she's a tv reporter from one of the two biggest television stations in our country. well, it's either abs-cbn or gma. her blogs are very creative - she has this knack for mixing metaphors. if you aren't careful, you might end up not noticing how she has managed to do so. think "let us burn the bridge when we get there", only wittier and cleverer.

right now, i would not mention who these people are. i wont even write down the link to their blog sites. they're getting enough hits everyday anyway. my goal is to get to meet them first. once that's done, i would then mention them here, and add them up as well in my friend's list.

choir practice

2008-01-18T14:57:00.000+08:00

last night's choir practice was cut short. apparently, another church group came in the hopes of practicing as well. they were surprised to see us there. but we were even more surprised to see them. after all, we had the place reserved for our choir every thursday from 8-10pm. the look on their faces changed when we informed them we had the place reserved for our practices every thursday. as it turns out, they made no reservations whatsoever. so, their expressions changed from "what the hell are these guys doing here?" to "we're so sorry, we didn't know you had the place reserved." instead of the usual two hours, we had to call it a night after one.

one of our choirmates had her birthday on tuesday, 15 january. so she brought with her chicken pie and lemon squares. yum! the lemon squares were delicious - not too sweet, not too tangy either. the chicken pie was good, too - if only it was served hot. but, despite the fact that it was refrigerator-cold, it was still worth biting into. so, you could just imagine how it would have tasted like when hot.

on our way home, my sister (who brought the car) was driving when suddenly we heard a very disturbing noise in our car. the hunches of one of my choirmates (who hitched with us) was correct - it was a flat. fortunately, my choirmates in the other car passed by the same route, and they stopped to help us out. us three guys ended up getting our hands dirty. we had trouble locating the jack and other tools. you think i would know straight away where they are. after all, it's my car. while i was desperately trying to think, they decided to borrow the tools from the other car. it was then i remembered: it was in front! as in literally. even they were amazed when they found out. anyhow, changing the tire wasn't difficult. i admit, i wasnt able to help out much during the entire process, but i do know how to change a flat. in fact, back in college i ended up changing the tires of my friend's car. now he was clueless, as in he didnt know a thing! good thing i was able to observe the process from a taxi driver. you see, i rode a cab and we ended up having a flat while in skyway. i was amazed at his speed and precision in changing a flat - he says he has to act fast, otherwise the skyway patrol would arrive and they might tow away his car. i took mental images of the entire process and was able to apply it in the mall parking lot. am i a genius? hell yeah! hehehehe.

chus and ceballos

2008-01-18T14:36:00.001+08:00

don't you just hate the fact that multiply removed their download access for music files? death to those who oppose music sharing! sigh...

anyway, if you guys have any mp3s of chus and ceballos, please let me know!!!!

i can't wait for them to be here. yes, on the 25th they'll be here (i think just for one night) for an exclusive party. happy happy!

thank heavens for DJ Tiesto

2008-01-17T17:49:00.000+08:00

i'm so happy!! i finally have my copy of Tiesto's In Search of Sunrise 6 - IBIZA!

i am praying that he will grace us with his presence this year. i missed out on tiesto when he was here on 2006. then again, it was during my hibernation period.

but if, and when, he does show up here in the philippines this year, you bet your ass i would be there.

happy-happy!

first blog using melchor

2008-01-15T09:18:00.000+08:00

apparently, trying to access blogger while on dialup is hell. you might want to watch grass grow while the site is pulling up. it's THAT slow. i tried my other blog site, and that turned out okay (albeit at a slow pace still). in fact, i was able to blog more than once during the weekend. now that's a big leap forward.

anyway, a lot of things have been happening since the year started. for one, melchor came into my life. before lewd thoughts start entering your dirty little minds, allow me to explain: melchor is my laptop. i bet yo're all dying to know why i named him as such. it's simple, really: melchor because he was given to me after the feast of the three kings. not very creative, i must admit. but hey, it felt right anyway. sotr of like naming a dog. when i had my lhasa apso, we had trouble finding a name for it. then it suddenly dawned on me: kinney. perfect! even my family enjoyed the name. i was also able to find a name for my other dog: gus. gus is a toy poodle, with the coolest apricot-coloured coat. i miss gus! unfortunately, when the time came for me to part ways with gus, i never had the chance to see him again. last thing i heard about him was that he was given to another family who could take better care of him. i hope he's doing fine. gus, if you could read this: your brother kinney misses you heaps! he is doing very well - very healthy, in fact.

i have finished making the written assessment for shell card. now that was grueling. the end result was a two part, 135 items total assessment. of course, if i were to answer the test myself, i would find it easy. i know the process very well - i lived and breathed it for almost two years. but for someone who has only heard of the business for the first time, and trained for just a little over a week, to take the test which i made - well, that's a different story. i administered the assessment to the three trainees (as one was on sick leave). at the end of the day, only one passed my assessment. one. and the one who passed barely made it. in fairness to the other two, they did not fail miserably. in fact, one didnt make the cut by just two percentage points. but bottom line, they didnt pass. so i had to make ANOTHER assessment, this time for their retake. the retake was not as different from the original i have made. the important thing is that they understand the process. we made sure we covered areas with which they were having difficulty before letting them do the retake.

fast forward to this week, i am happy to announce that the other two have already passed, and they were officially certified yesterday. the one who was on leave, well she's on her way to becoming certified herself. it all happens today.

2007-12-31T18:41:00.000+08:00

he thinks this year will be it.

2008 will be the year where he chooses his fate. he has been at a crossroads for the longest time - he has already become comfortable fence-sitting. no longer, he thinks. it is about time that he starts living the life he is meant to live. he is of age, after all.

ever since he was a child, he was told that he is destined for greatness. he believed it; he knows it deep in his heart that he is meant for greater things. he knows that a lot of people would come to know him - not only will he be famous, he will become successful (read: rich) as well. he will probably become the most successful person in his family (at least in his generation).

he must decide which path to take. he knows that he is good at a lot of things. he is a modern-day Renaissance man: from the arts to the sciences, he can become very good at what he does, especially if he sets his mind into it. he knows that realizing your destiny/potential does not mean letting go of the other things that you enjoy doing; however it means you have to focus. he will have to make a lot of adjustments in order to take the plunge. from cutting back on night-outs, to reading more books, to getting back into sports - he knows what it takes.

he hopes all his friends will support him in this endeavour. here's to biting the bullet.

cheers!

merienda buffets

2007-12-27T18:21:00.000+08:00

i realized: this last quarter of the year, merienda buffets have become significant in my life.

it all started when my friends and i discovered the merienda buffet here in our very own building. for less than 80 bucks, you can have puto, dinuguan, pancit, various kakanin, arroz caldo, etc. to your tummy's content. with food being the universal people-bonder (that's not even a word!), we shared a lot over these merienda buffet sessions: from personal things like what's going on in our families, to stuff at work like movements and changes. conversations like: how my mom has plans of staying in the states for good, my friend's breakup, talks of hitting it big in the casino (hehehe), staffing issues (no, we do not talk about work all the time), and a whole lot more. apparently, it is not only us who proceed to the merienda buffet whenever we want to bust our guts. as i have recently discovered, other teams are into it too. my new team had a birthday celebration of sorts in the same spot. it was a very festive and yet economical way of celebrating. kudos!

earlier i had another merienda buffet moment, this time it is with someone and someplace new. apparently, masas in greenbelt 2 has its own version of the buffet. the food being served are very similar, although here they have halu-halo (which i dont think they have here in our building). upon hearing the invite, i decided to drop everything here at work and troop to greenbelt to meet up. before you say, "work abandonment!", might i remind you that i am on leave today?! good.

anyway, it was a sound decision on my part to have met up. as of this writing, i am still full! personally, i liked the dinuguan here in our building better, but their pancit is yummy. the sago't gulaman needs a little more syrup, but i guess that's just my sweet tooth talking. anyway, enough about the food. let me tell you what happened during our stay in masas. our conversation was very interesting: esoteric, if i may say so. we talked about card reading, past lives, meditating, visualizing, the secret, all that stuff. it was great finding someone who is into these kinds of things. i learned a lot of new things during my hour-long stay. for instance, in terms of getting what you want, you have to be very specific. you should visualize it exactly as you would like it to happen. allow me to cite an example: say you would like to have P50,000 in savings by end of march 2008. how would you like to receive this? you have to be very specific - is it in the form of a check being handed to you? or a direct deposit in your bank account? visualizing helps in obtaining what you want, according to my friend.

of course, i tell my friend that this should be taken with a grain of salt. while i am all for using your mind, tapping into it and maximizing its use, i still belive that we should start acting to make things happen. you cannot merely think yourself into a way of becoming/being (hope that made sense). if there is something you want to achieve, you work for it. sitting down and visualizing would help a lot, true, but so would physical activity.

anyway, at the very least, i had a wonderful time. it is very refreshing to meet up and have nice, long conversations with someone interesting. it doesn't hurt that you're both hot either! hehehehe. greenbelt 2 in the afternoon has a different vibe - while you have your usual yuppies dressed in corporate chic, you also have other people living nearby hanging out for snacks, wearing slippers and shorts. it's not as stuffy and elitist as greenbelt evenings. but it's all good, it never bothered me anyway. meaning, i dont give a rat's ass if i hang out there looking like shit.

on our next meetup (i wouldnt like to call it a date), i would like to head over to our alma mater for some classic street food - isaw, fishballs, etc. that, or in Chocolate Kiss. maybe even both.

later.

the tease is now being teased

2007-12-26T16:42:00.000+08:00

i know, i know. i'm such a tease.
unconsciously. sometimes it isn't even my intention of doing so.
i can't help it if i'm charming (hehehehe!)
what's challenging is once you've met your match
all defences are down
and suddenly you get lost
does this person like me or am i just being teased?
it's hard to tell, really
it can get frustrating.
maybe i should just take it as it is.
that's what i'll tell others who might be in the same spot.
oh well...

later.

Christmas Day

2007-12-26T16:17:00.000+08:00

this year, Christmas for me was spent at home.

traditionally, my friends (my three best buds) and i would be trooping to the mall by Christmas afternoon. we would then watch a movie to show our support for the Philippine movie industry. to be honest, it is more of the reason that there aren't any other movies being shown, but my way of looking at it makes us look good. hehehe. anyhow, after maybe 4-5 years of having done this, it didn't push through this year. =( my friend rang me up shortly after lunch yesterday, and i asked him if the tradition will continue as normal. he said it is highly unlikely, as there are no movies worth watching anyway. come to think of it, i guess he's right. every year we would do the same thing - hit the mall, watch a movie, and curse each other for having been dragged out of our beds to watch that crappy flick. and yet we still do it, which is the main point. i kinda felt sad upon hearing that we wouldn't be watching at all. a little part of me suddenly thought that we weren't doing it because we have kinda grown apart. or, to be more specific, i have grown apart from them, as they still hang out a lot of times. you see, our night-outs would always be last-minute: a typical text would be something like, "dude, let's watch a movie and get a nightcap afterwards. pick you up in ten." and, most of the time, i couldn't make it. after all, i work in makati, i end up staying after shift just to finish work, and even when i do get the chance to come home early, i feel so pooped i wouldn't want to go out anymore. on weekends, where i got no work, i have made a prior commitment to go out with other friends. and this would be (again) in makati, if not in taguig. so i am always not around, and i think that they have gotten used to it already. i resolve to change that, especially now that the new year is approaching. i need to reconnect - with old friends, old skills/talents, etc.

at the very least, my Christmas was very lazy and relaxing. i finally caught up with my sleep debt, and man did it feel good! i watched cartoons (pokemon, yay!), played video games, read some chapters from the book which i could never seem to finish (i'm sorry, Christina Pantoja-Hidalgo - it isn't your fault, trust me), spent time with my nephew while he opened the gifts he received (a lot!), and ate ham. A lot of ham. Hehehe. My Christmas wouldn't be the same without ham. =)

How Lovely Is Your Dwelling Place

2007-12-26T13:12:00.000+08:00

REFRAIN:
How lovely is Your dwelling place
O Lord, mighty God, Lord of all.

Even the lowly sparrow finds a home for her brood,
and the swallow, a nest for herself
where she may lay her young
in Your altars, my King and my God. (REFRAIN)

Blessed are they whose dwelling is Your own, Lord of peace.
Blest are they refreshed by springs and by rain
when dryness daunts and scathes.
Behold my Shield, my King and my God. (REFRAIN)

I would forsake a thousand other days anywhere
if I could spend one day in Your courts,
belong to You alone. My strength are You alone,
my Glory, my King and my God. (REFRAIN)

CODA:
How lovely, Your dwelling place
O, Lord, mighty God, Lord of all.

Home of Free Checking

2007-12-17T18:19:00.000+08:00

who would have thought that my weekend would have turned out this way?

our meeting up that night was totally unexpected. you came from work, i came from someplace else. at the back of my head, i was thinking: flaker, this definitely wouldn't happen tonight. but dont get me wrong: i won't blame you - after all, i too would be having second thoughts about going out after spending a long, tiring day at work. but lo and behold, you agreed to meet up. thank god you did.

until now, i am amazed at how we connected at so many levels. same interests, same background. it really helps a lot that we have a lot in common. proximity, familiarity, similarity. intro to psych lessons suddenly pop in my head. getting to know more about someone is an exciting endeavour. i look forward to learning bits and pieces about you everyday. and, among other things, i take this as an opportunity to take things slow. take things as they come. it's ok not to expect anything. the important thing is to appreciate the now.

i am exhausted. from work, from simbang gabi, from other responsiblities at home. but i am not complaining. instead, i will just write.

later.

2007-11-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

"You look like shit. Is that the style now?"

hahaha!!! chanced upon pattie's blog when i saw this. pattie! let's start writing again.

superpowers i wish i have

2007-11-27T19:12:00.000+08:00

clairvoyant adj.

1 : having the ability to see beyond the range of ordinary perception 2 : of or relating to the power or faculty of discerning objects not present to the senses

telekinesis n.

1 : the production of motion in objects (as by a spiritualistic medium) without contact or other physical means

telepathy n.

1 : communication from one mind to another by extrasensory means

It would be very interesting to have these powers. Reading minds, moving objects with your mind, and predicting the future. Man, that would be awesome!

I'm trying to find out if there is a mutant in the Marvel Universe who possesses these powers. Jean Grey? She isn't clairvoyant, although no one can deny her super powers of telepathy and telekinesis. Professor X? Obviously not.

I know! Psylocke. yes, Betsy Braddock herself. Orginally, she does not have telekinesis; but since the power switch with Phoenix, she has come to acquire this unique telekinetic force which she can combine with her other powers. Plus, her precognitice abilities aren't really fully developed - it just comes and goes, so to speak.

Okay, perhaps I am looking at the wrong field/category. Maybe I shouldn't be looking for it in the Marvel Universe. What, then: DC? Heck no. I should have trusted my instincts in the first place: the answers i seek lie in the force.

That's right. You could never go wrong with Star Wars. Why do i have to look far, when Master Yoda is just around? he is obviously blessed with these three powers. even better, he only uses these powers when he has to. remember episode four (a new hope), when he lifted the starship of luke? or in episode two, he had this spectacular light saber duel with count dooku. he even had a precognition (and an empath moment) in episode three when he felt each jedi being killed when order 66 was executed. it was a good thing he saw it coming, it literally saved his ass.

yoda is the best! three cheers for yoda. :)

sometimes it just gets to you

2007-11-19T18:08:00.000+08:00

one would think that someone in my position would have nothing to feel blue about. true - i got a family that cares (however dysfunctional, hey they're family); i have real friends who have seen me through my shittiest and have still accepted me. i have a stable job in a company that (finally) recognised me for my efforts, talents, and hard work. yes, i got promoted to (middle) management. although technically, i havent assumed my post yet - it's just a matter of days. i get to sing in a choir - singing being one of the purest things i truly enjoy. i get to go to parties and events, in some cases even for free! i have books, reading has always been a passion. so what if i have like a dozen books in my shelf pending, waiting to be read? i'll get a chance to read them all. i get to eat good food: fine dining, street food, chocolates, coffee. life IS good. i thank my Maker that for the most part, i've been really lucky.

in spite of all these, all of a sudden it would just hit you. the smallest thing could act like a trigger, and everything would come flooding back in. this is one disadvantage of being connected almost 24/7. you have mobile phones, emails, social networking sites, etc. you are always just a click, a text away. so no matter how hard you try to steer away from something/someone, it becomes inevitable that your paths will meet. (cue in "It's All Coming Back" by Celine Dion)

it's crazy, really. it's been some time already. and for the most part, i have done very well. i have stuck to my professional plan of working hard and making sure i get to the next step. had this incident occured four, five years ago i definitely would have not made it. no, i would not have committed suicide. what i'm saying that back then, i would not be able to handle this sort of pressure and i would have caved in. several aspects of my life would have suffered big time. i am sure you get the picture.

this could be just a weather thing. seasonal affective disorder, as they call it. after all, the christmas season has already started (heck, it has started as soon as the -ber month kicked in! at least, this rings true in my country). we have been getting cool weather, which is really great. i dunno... i don't think the holidays are at fault here. after all, this season always makes me happy & warm inside. i always have something to look forward to during christmas: good food, the presents, etc. little things, really. so no, i take it this has nothing to do with the holidays.

sometimes, it just gets to you.

realizations c/o facebook

2007-10-09T19:06:00.001+08:00

facebook is the best social networking site there is. no doubt about it. you get tons of cool applications - you may throw sheep at your friends, you can buy them a round of drinks, you can practically do anything and everything there. heaps and heaps of fun!

what's more, unlike friendster and multiply, here you are able to view people's profiles without them knowing it. provided, of course, that they have allowed you to view them in the first place. while in my stalker mode, i saw a lot of people i know - people i have met from years back, former colleagues, former teammates, an acquaintance, someone i have had a casual encounter with. and what i noticed in facebook is that it is a very "who's who" site. which adds to the fun, don't you agree?

i think i am a social networking site junkie. currently, i have 4 "active" sites - friendster, multiply, myspace and facebook. i also have twitter, plus two other blog sites (including this one). whew! am i able to maintain each and every one? no. heck, it would take me the whole day to pimp my profiles, so i just stick to the basic designs.

with this blog, however, i am thinking of making improvements. i managed to read some famous blogs here in blogger, and i must say, i am impressed. i am thinking of focusing on my writing, as obviously i have neglected this part of my life for quite some time. this goes hand in hand with reading. imagine, i have AT LEAST 8 books pending in my collection! talk about slow. but all that should change. since turning 26, i realized that i should go back to the simpler things in life. things that make me happy - a good book, coffee, writing. cut back on partying, gimmicks, drinking and the like. take more walks - longer ones, too. enjoy the comforts of your bed. stuff like that.

i have lost my train of thought from too many pauses. later.

how i cope with my recent breakup.

2007-08-24T20:10:00.000+08:00

the things i do to help me get over someone.

i am swamped with work. literally. as in there are things i should've accomplished a couple of weeks back which are still on my "Things To Do" list.

i willingly submitted myself to be the head of one company event which involves all the companies in our country. think 1000 heads (not that head, you pervert). think less than a month of preparation. think of how you're responsible for publicity of the event. the facet of an event where you are least exposed to (since i'm always in production, whether in front or behind the scenes). think working with people whom you just met, with different work schedules, and with different personalities. you haven't been given time to know each other in a more personal level. who has time for that, given the task at hand? trust me, i'm super excited.

assessment. i have recently undergone an assessment to be confirmed to the next level. a climb up the corporate ladder, so to speak. it was a long and tedious process: prior to actually undergoing the panel assessment, you have to submit your own document detailing all proof points to show that you have manifested a certain level of competence. there are 9 competencies in all, and trust me, it is no easy task. you really need to be obssessive-compulsive: do not erase any emails which you think would be beneficial later on. take not of everythin, as in DOCUMENT everything.

anyway, enough of that. the point is, i'm beginning to feel lonely again. sigh...

a heartbroken guy talks about happiness

2007-07-28T12:40:00.000+08:00

"Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action." - Benjamin Disraeli (taken from http://www.wisdomquotes.com/)

I am heartbroken. I am hurting. Allow me to rant, grieve, mourn, heal...

I choose to be happy. I will not allow something like a breakup to mess me up. Not this time. The last two breakups were hell, I have to admit. I know people see me as someone who is strong, independent, and sometimes even as someone who doesn't give a rat's ass. Like I just can't be hurt by something like a breakup. Truth is, I am very vulnerable. I wallow in self-misery after one. I begin to have self-esteem issues. Back then, after a breakup, I start to question everything: "Am I not goodlooking enough? Is it because i am not too smart enough? Is it my attitude?" See? Pathetic.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I see myself now as someone who does not have his share in a breakup. It always takes two. Always. One may be more at fault, but bottom line, it's not entirely one person's fault. But now, I look at it from a "proactive" angle. I'll try to break down this last relationship into its very fibers and try to determine what went wrong, so to speak. What do I need to do next time?

Back to happiness. Earlier I said I choose to be happy. It's not easy, but it is doable. For me, it has to be the simple things that make me happy. Read a book. Write. Eat good food. Have good conversations with friends. Catch up with old acquaintances. Meet new people (not necessarily for romance, mind you).

Of course, I am only human. There are times (like the past couple of days) where it will really hit you. Hard. You hear something, and suddenly you're reminded. You see something, and suddenly you're back at a memory of something you two have shared. Sigh... I'm hanging in there. The fact that I can write about it is a big step for me. Plus, I have really good friends I can lean on if ever. I am touched at how sweet my friends can be - checking on me every once in a while, making sure I am ok. I should learn how to cherish and treausre them more, show them that I truly care for them.

I think this entry is non-cohesive. One thought is not connected after the next. See? Proof that I am still shaken and messed up about this breakup. Oh well...

Later I shall try to write something about the 7+ months that we have been together. Note that it is not my intention to kiss and tell, but I feel that it would be cathartic for me to do so.

later.

sounds family

2007-07-17T17:13:00.000+08:00

déjà vu - n. 1 a: the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time b: a feeling that one has seen or heard something before; 2: something overly or unpleasantly familiar
- taken from Merriam-Webster Online (http://www.m-w.com/)

Suddenly, I am in an all-too-familiar situation. It was almost a year ago when I found myself in the same spot where I am at now. On one hand, I feel delighted: after all, it is so near, yet so far. On the other, it makes me sort of regret the fact that it has been a year (almost), if I had been more prudent then I would have been in a different spot now. But it's all good, bottom line is I am still grateful for the fact that I'm back here. Some people do not even get another chance.

i figured the next month or two would be a flurry of events. aside from the normal stuff that i do at work (which is a lot as it is), there would be assessments, interviews, presentations, postings, and even extra-curricular activites - planning for events, both social and socio-civic activities (this i truly miss the most). i cannot be more excited! i thrive on deadlines, buzzer-beaters and the like. of course, you still have to be prepared beforehand, but i operate best when things have to be done at a snap of a finger. i have been doing this since high school, and i just love the thrill of it.

busy, busy, busy! i am stressed, overworked and even underpaid. i always voice my dissatisfaction with the way things are. but bottom line, i still love what i do. otherwise i wouldn't have cared. forget about finding ways to improve things around here, right? but that's just not me. i'm always about making things better, easier, more efficient. i do care a lot, which is why i don't mind staying a couple of hours after work to make sure everything is processed and taken care of.

suddenly, the movie "The Devil Wears Prada" came to mind. There was this scene where Andrea went to the photo shoot where the art director was (played by Stanley Tucci, forgot his character name, sorry). She was saying that her relationship is kinda shaky. Then Stanley Tucci goes, "Let me know when your personal life is screwed over (or something to that effect), then it's time for a promotion."

ha. i could not agree with him more, especially in my current predicament.

an entry which i wrote way back in january

2007-07-17T17:04:00.000+08:00

17 january 2007

Here's to getting started on tomorrow.

2007 has barely begun, and already so many things are unfolding. Sure, there are challenges facing me this early on, but if I'm not used to them by now, I probably never will be. The point is, I've already been through a lot, and the fact that I'm still here standing is a testament to my strength of character. Someone told me, "With respect comes a certain amount of fear." I have never forgotten that. Now, I'm beginning to see (and feel) the truth to that statement. Even the backstabbers admit that much to my face: people look up to me (then again, it could be just another one of their evil ploys to feed on my ego. I say fuck them). I must use this to my advantage while I still can. Very Prince-like (read: Macchiavelli), indeed.

So now, all I have to do is maintain consistency. Stick to the plan. MAKE a plan first, of course (hehehe). Continue to spread the love to those you hold dear. And to detractors, instill fear. play their game. master the art of war.

let's get it on.

on my way

2007-05-12T08:32:00.000+08:00

i have been working for the same company for a few days shy of fifteen months. congratulations to myself, this is quite a feat indeed!

what have i learned after fifteen months? this is a very good question indeed, for there should always be growth involved when it comes to your professional life - while it may not always be monetary growth, there are other factors to consider as well.

for one, there's friendship - i am proud to say that after all the mess i have been through at work, i still have people who watch my back (the same people, in fact), and whose backs i shall watch as well. i need not mention your names here, you know who you are. possessions are fleeting, it is said, but i feel these friendships can last a very long time. long after we have gone our separate ways and realise our potentials, we shall still be there, keeping touch and having fun. party! gv all the way!

discernment - funny how i still have a lot to learn about this. i mean, for someone who studied psychology, understanding people should be a breeze. and it has been for me. but sometimes, you just need to dig deeper in order to discern what it is that motivates/drives people to do certain things. despite the fact that you have been stabbed, scratched, humiliated and all, you have got to understand where these are coming from. a desire for power, a need for survival, a selfish compulsion, it doesn't matter. it takes a bigger person to do all this understanding, for sure. but doesnt being the bigger person pay off eventually? let's see.

work ethic - i can say that i have a strong work ethic, and this is proven by my performance since i was still in school. while there have been trials along the way which question this, i eventually survive and move on. resilience is the key. bottom line, the people i have worked with here can never (read: never!) say that i am a slacker, or that i don't pull my own weight.

leadership - sometimes, you really have to be the one to create opportunities for leadership. if you just wait for your immediate supervisor to give you the chance to spearhead an activity, or take charge of something, well you might end up waiting a long time. consider this - you've already got too much stuff in your hands with your basic work (the main reason why you were hired, in other words), your boss will obviously be in the same situation, and you got your other colleagues to worry about as well. if you see an opportunity to take charge, do it. volunteer to shoulder the responsibility. form a team, distribute the tasks, follow-up - these are very basic things that a leader should do. you know how they say a good leader is a good follower? i believe in this so much - personally, it's not just so much that you're a good follower, but basically it's that you were good at what you do even before you became a leader. i dont know if i made sense, but my point is: it would be hard for you to have people follow you if they know that you are not competent in the first place.

enough rambling. later.

lots of catching up to do

2007-05-12T07:51:00.000+08:00

aaargh!

dont let me fall into the same old rut - starting something, vigorously keeping up at it for the first few instances, then poof! oblivion.

we have this term in filipino - it's called ningas kugon, which basically stipulates that one is only good at the start, then eventually nothing happens, the work never gets finished. i admit, i have a tendency to follow this habit. case in point: this blog.

i always get a chance to check my email, friendster, my messenger services, but how come i fail to maintain my blog?

hopefully, that would change. effective today.

i got tons of stories to share, and i guess this is the best medium to do so. after all, save for some friends of mine (and other friends who might chance upon this site), no one knows that this blog exists. right? hehehehehe.

so, allow me once more to invite you to take a look at what's been happening in my world. some might view it boring, others exciting. the point is it doesn't matter!

so, yet again - here's to getting started on tomorrow.

Torva Moments

2007-02-26T15:03:00.000+08:00

yikes, am i beginning to become a torva head?

i would think not. i mean, it's not as if i do it every week, right?

oh well....

Ecstasy - ATB

2007-01-09T15:25:00.002+08:00

Have you ever noticed,
That I’m not acting as I used to do before?
Have you ever wondered,
Why I always keep on coming back for more?

What have you done to me,
I’ll never be the same I'll tell you for sure

I’ll never be the same I'll tell you for sure
I’ll never be the same I'll tell you for sure

You really are my ecstasy,
my real life fantasy, oh yeah.

Not that I’m complaining,
A more beautiful vision - I have never seen
If you don’t mind me saying,
A lifelong ambition to fulfill my dream

What have you done to me,
I’ll never be the same I'll tell you for sure

I’ll never be the same I'll tell you for sure
I’ll never be the same I'll tell you for sure

You really are my ecstasy,
My real life fantasy, oh yeah

You really are my ecstasy,
My real life fantasy, oh yeah

(There can be no other While we still have each other)
(There can be no other
While we still have each other)

You really are my ecstasy,
(There can be no other
While we still have each other)
My real life fantasy, oh yeah

You really are my ecstasy,
(There can be no other
While we still have each other)
My real life fantasy, oh yeah.

Sweet Dreams

2007-01-09T15:25:00.001+08:00

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

I wanna use you and abuse you
I wanna know what's inside you
(Whispering) Hold your head up, movin' on
Keep your head up, movin' on
Hold your head up, movin' on
Keep your head up, movin' on
Hold your head up, movin' on
Keep your head up, movin' on
Movin' on!

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

I'm gonna use you and abuse you
I'm gonna know what's inside
Gonna use you and abuse you
I'm gonna know what's inside you

the return

2006-12-11T14:22:00.000+08:00

my dad got home last saturday after several months in the states. but his return was not without its dramas. hey what's new? after all, this is MY DAD we are talking about. hehehehe.

so anyway, he sent me an email a few days prior to his arrival, asking me to pick him up at the airport at 11pm saturday. that was it, that was his entire message. who cares about other pertinent details, such as which airport, flight number, which airline, etc., right? of course, i didn't bother asking him those details anymore. hey, if he didn't bother giving me the information in the first place, why should i impose?

get this: thursday i was up all night on the phone, so i slept at around 3am friday already. but since i had to arise early to take care of some stuff, i ended up having only about 4 hours of sleep. lack of sleep does not a happy man make. then, when i got home friday night (about 7pm), my plan was to catch a few winks first before meeting up with my choirmates for our caroling. however, my nephew really wanted to hear mass with me (given the fact that it was the Immaculate Conception). the mass was at 730pm. hey, if my nephew wants to hear mass, then i should by all means acquiesce, right? so that was what i did: grudgingly, if i may add. i took a quick shower, and off to the church we went. we were very late, but at least my nephew was able to go to Church, which is the important thing. right after mass we had to practice for the caroling. we were terrible during rehearsals, i swear. but that probably deserves another blog entry. so we did that for about half an hour, after which i had to drop my nephew back home, seeing he cant come with when we go a-caroling. i mentioned we were terrible during practice right? well, the same held true when we were actually singing at the house! and this was our first house at that! hopefully this is not foreboding of things to come as far as caroling is concerned. it is for a good cause after all.

it was half past ten when we left the house. i was sooo fucking exhausted already, but i still have a party to go to. driven manila (who has been relentless with their text messages, practically begging me to attend) brought steve lawler here in the philippines, and although i believe i have never really listened to any of his songs, i decided to make an appearance. what i did was to set the alarm to about 1230am so i can have my much-needed rest before heading for pttc (right beside world trade), where the event was held.

i wont go too much into the lawler event, except that it wasn't that much fun. even boring, to some extent. one reason could be the fact that i was already tired, but in any case, the music wasn't that good. i stayed there for only an hour, maybe even less. this only means i have one last event for 2006 to have a fucking great time: benny benassi! more on that later.

so, i got home around 730am saturday morning. while driving on my way home, my boss keeps on texting me, asking me to make an appearance in our company outing/Christmas party in Island Cove. i was like, "I'll try to catch up later this afternoon, right now i need to rest. badly. so i finally i was able to get some sleep, but since the sun was already up when i fell asleep, it only meant one thing: i wouldnt be able to sleep long. true enough, after about 4 hours i was wide awake again. you know how it is: you're so fucking tired and you just want to sleep, but your mind doesn't seem to cooperate, and so you're awake. no matter how much you try to get some more sleep (an additional hour would have been heaven i swear), no matter how many different sleeping positions you've tried, you just couldn't fall asleep again. fuck it, i had no choice but to get up and think of what my plans for the rest of the day will be.

it was then i remembered that i have to fetch my dad from the aiport that evening. so i figured island cove would be out of the question already. besides, if i show up then, it would sort of ruin the whole point of my "vacation". it would be best if everyone sees me only after i've served my sentence, so to speak. so i decided to opt out of island cove and just stay at home.

10 March 2007

note to self: finish a blog as soon as you start it! wow, i cant even remember anymore the exact events which occured during my dad's return. not that it matters, everything at home is back to "normal", so to speak. anyhow, here's to more blogs in the future. cheers!

2007 awaits

2006-12-10T14:58:00.000+08:00

that's right.

i cannot be more excited. 2006 has been one helluva roller coaster ride. from having a new career, meeting new and exciting people, having developed new and strong friendships, and being stabbed in the back by people whom you thought are friends: to say that i have been through a lot would suddenly seem like an understatement. but i'm glad to say that now, i have reached a point where i am strong and resilient once more. talk about the me of old!

also, shortly before the year ended, but after i first started writing this blog, something very special happened. i shall focus more on that later, but for now, let me just say my year ended beautifully. ahh... to love and be loved is such a beautiful thing. truly, i am blessed.

it's been a couple of months now into 2007. how has it been so far? well, while things may not happen exactly as i've planned, i've realised that there are so many things i need to be thankful for. i don't need to enumerate them here anymore, for they are so many. what i need to be doing instead is to become pragmatic - think of practical solutions that would satisfy my needs (financial, intellectual, physical). whether it entails finding a second job, dabble in music/arts, quitting smoking altogether - it doesn't matter! bottom line, it's time i get my own party started.

so, here's to getting started on tomorrow. let's just say that for now, i'll be following the chinese calendar - therefore, the new year won't commence until the 18th of february. cheers!

sister act songs

2006-12-06T11:53:00.000+08:00

thanks to mau, i recently got my dose of sister act songs. i can't stop listening to them! yes i am talking about "I Will Follow Him", "Shout", "Oh Happy Day", and of course, "Joyful Joyful."

and, i found out that gmail really is amazing! you can play these songs straight from your email. a new window will pop out for that song, giving you the option of playing it over and over again. it allows you to play more than one song (a new window for each song), plus you may still listen to these songs even if you've logged out of gmail. brilliance!!!

now if only i could post these songs here in my blog... let me figure that out next time.

later.

picking up where you left off

2006-11-29T19:36:00.000+08:00

i've been thinking a lot about this lately, and until now i haven't really decided. is it really possible to pick up things where you left off? as if you never left, like nothing hapened?

i really thought this was entirely possible. it's all about willpower: condition the mind that things are just like before and that's how they will be. and for some time, that's what i have been doing. at least initially. people around you may change, but if you set your mind into thinking that "No, things will just remain the way they were. Pick up where you left off!", they will realize that as well, and begin to act accordingly. but humans are dynamic. although the environment plays a huge part in how one behaves, it's not the end-all of things. you have to consider a lot of other factors. genetics, attitudes, past experiences, these also all play integral roles.

recent circumstances surrounding my professional life has brought me into thinking about these things. and now i have finally come to a decision: everything changes. whilst it is possible to reach a certain point where things are as normal as they can be, bottom line: nothing stays the same. trust will always be an issue, loyalties can get divided, the works. like what i've been telling my friends (my real, true, genuine, legitimate, you-get-the-point friends), i've never known people who can be so vicious. super friendly in your face, then stabbing you in the back the moment they get the chance. but it's no biggie, i've already been through hell and back (as my friends - yes, the same set i just mentioned - can attest). if i was able to survive that, i can weather through this storm easily. JC's there to help me, too.

with respect comes a certain amount of fear.

hahahaha! no wonder i can't be touched.

later.

catching up

2006-11-27T07:19:00.000+08:00

dear blog,

how's it going? first off, i would like to apologise for neglecting you. it's been over a month since i last wrote something here. not that i havent got any news to share; on the contrary, a lot of things have been going on in my life over the past couple of months.

allow me to post here the things i need to blog:

- hula moments
- issues issues issues
- depression - food
- road trip!

later.

i wonder how valid and reliable this test is?

2006-10-21T08:08:00.000+08:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

birthday shmirtday

2006-10-16T18:04:00.000+08:00

so i just turned 25 last saturday. hooray! i am now a quarter of a century old. fortunately for me, my mid-life crisis is pretty much over. it began about a couple of months before my actual birthday. it made me do a lot of thinking: "oh my god! i am turning 25 and what have i accomplished so far? nothing!" or something to that effect. seriously, though, i was really depressed about turning 25. i am not one to normally compare myself to others (especially to my friends), but the fact that a lot of them are now doctors (or literally one step behind becoming full-fledged ones), or successful university instructors, masteral students abroad, etc... come on, won't you feel depressed too? especially in my case, the one-with-all-the-potential. i guess for some time now, that's all i have ever been. full of potential, but no realizations happening. which is also probably one of the reasons why my mom is sooo frustrated with me, she knows how great i can be (and this is without bias, even if she is my mother), and yet it seems like i am not really doing anything about it.

the sad thing is, she's probably right.

but enough of that. the important thing is what you do with the NOW. so what if you've done all these great things before? it's all in the past. as richard of ally mcbeal would say, "bygones!" high time for me to make my own accomplishments. again. get started on tomorrow!

"Some people never get over their past accomplishments. Even worse are the people who exaggerate what they have done. For years, I kept a sign on my desk that helped me maintain the right perspective concerning yesterday. It simply said: YESTERDAY ENDED LAST NIGHT." - John Maxwell

saturday night plans

2006-10-06T18:22:00.000+08:00

despite the fact that a lot of shitty things have been going on in my life recently, i can always look forward to weekends. especially THIS weekend. truth be told, i have no specific plans yet, although i have received several invites as of this writing. let's see: there's this show somewhere in qc where a friend of a friend shall be performing, and it might be worth checking out. in makati, there is the spanish film festival which i have been dying to see (there are a couple of flicks showing tonight, even. if only i have someone to watch it with...). and, there's like a huge party in one bar/club, details are yet to be fully revealed to me soon. but it looks promising, i heard from another friend that it has been selling like hotcakes already (it referring to tickets - yeah right!).

some college friends have texted me and even sent me a message in friendster, asking me to pay them a visit in manila. sounds pretty good for me too, since these are really good friends of mine and i havent seen them for quite some time. now would be a great opportunity to catch up, since all of them are now back together in manila.

i could also catch up with some old friends over coffee. it's all good, but i am looking forward to doing something exciting. like what i have been telling my colleagues, my energy levels have been so high i can no longer contain myself. if i dont release some of this i might end up having a nervous disorder of some sort! does tourette syndrom sound familiar? hehehe, talk about applying what i have been reading lately in real life (which i will explain more in detail once i'm done reading it).

gotta end this now, i guess. my friend patty is looking forward to watching how "Bituing Walang Ningning" ends. as if we don't know, right? good triumphs over evil! that, plus the fact that cleng is also ready to go home and catch some zzzs before getting some tonight. bwahahahahaha!

later.

a fast one

2006-10-05T12:17:00.000+08:00

nobody pulls a fast one on me and gets away with it.

i don't give a flying fuck who you are. i'll never live this one down.

oh, and by the way, Sunkissed-Goddess won't get away with it either. since she was the one who got me into this mess anyway, that means she would have to pay by treating me to starbucks at least once a week. actually, coffee bean is much better, of course, but i'm not choosy. i'll even settle for seattle's best, or even san francisco coffee. even gloria jeans or figaro. but for convenience purposes, its definitely gonna be either *bucks or cbtl.

rue the day you implemented this. death to pretenders and poor people skills.

retreat letter to jeyn

2006-10-04T10:35:00.000+08:00

dear mommy jeyn,

hello! how's it going? hope you are having fun at your retreat. i know you told us that you've had a lot of retreats already, but i hope you are enjoying this one, since every retreat is different i a way, right? and with this one, is it only you and trish who know each other? then that means expanding your social circle, which is always a good thing.

to be honest, i really do not have anything to say. i know you are a very honest, kind-hearted person, and that you genuinely care for the people you are with. i know i have already told you this countless of times, but i am sure lucky to have you as my team leader. you probably know this already, but in my case respect for authorities is something that is earned. in the beginning, probably during our first week in training, when i found out that you are a team leader, i was very cautious. i noticed that you are very quiet, just observing people and not saying much. i thought at first that that wasnt a good sign, since i perceived you to be shy. little did i know, that would be one of your strengths as a leader.

i know i may be a little too much to handle at times, and i thank you for your patience. just remind me if i am overstepping bounds or anything of the sort. but i want you to know that i have great respect for you, and did i mention that i'm lucky to have you as our tl? hahaha!

i wish you good health, more success in life. i also wanna thank you for the fact that our relationship (not just the two of us, but the team's and kakadu's as a whole) is more than just tl-csp, but as friends. Jesus has truly blessed us for putting us here in shell, otherwise i wouldn't have the pleasure of meeting you. i know we've only known each other for a couple of months, but i feel as if it's been years. and that type of feeling assures us of a long friendship right? so let's drink to that! God bless!

i love you with the love of the Lord,

Earl

eBooks galore

2006-10-03T19:30:00.000+08:00

just last week i have purchased three eBooks from eBay. that was only the second time i have purchased something from eBay, and it feels real good! especially since all three eBooks cost less than P40.00, and the seller was generous enough to throw in 3 more eBooks for free! something i was not totally expecting. as it turns out, the three new eBooks are not something i really need, but hey, it's free! who knows, the time may come when i would need to cook more than 25 kinds of barbeque (one of the free eBooks given to me).

anyway, back to my three purchases. what are they again?

ORIGAMI. i love origami. i remember when i was young, my mom gave me and my sister an origami book for kids. it had very simple instructions, and the figures were mostly of animals (such as the one on the left). but we had lots of fun with that book: there was a diagram of how to make an origami table in the book, and i had a really hard time doing it. eventually after like a year, when my hand-to-eye coordination improved, i did it! kudos to the japanese for coming up with this fantastic art.

Now, the eBook i bought has roughly around 300 diagrams. how's that for origami-ing yourself to death?! hahahahaha! and i intend to accomplish each and every one. yikes, the OC in me strikes again.

The Anarchist Cookbook. thanks to my cousin, who introduced me to this book when we were in high school. back then, you could only buy this in Tower Records, and there were very few stocks left. my cousin was smart enough to buy one, and we learned a lot from this book. just about a month ago, i texted him, asking if i could borrow this book from him. his reply? he lent it to someone and it hasn't been returned. aargh. death to moochers who always rely on others. wait, didn't I want to borrow it as well? hahahahaha!

fortunately for me, i found this on eBay. upon seeing it, i clicked on "Buy It Now!" simple as that. without batting an eyelash. even if this book seriously needs a newer version, this has a very special place in my heart. i remember i made a presentation in college about making homemade bombs. my source? you got that right.

Writing Your First Business Plan. well, i figured, since i'm already working here, i might as well be prepared for what lies ahead. who would have thought I would go corporate? even if it is in the customer service industry (for now, hehehehe), the culture here is a mix of the old and the new.

bottom line, i feel i should start caring about what goes around me at work, and that if i have plans of staying here long (i really do), it's best to be prepared. know everything there is to know. remember what G.I. Joe said? "Knowing is half the battle." Spot on!!!

reading is such fun! brings out the geek in me. but first: turn these eBooks into hard copies! hahahaha!

later.

shell friends

2006-10-03T10:11:00.000+08:00

this is claire.

this is pattie.

this is ian.

this is jeyn.

ateneo lost!

2006-10-02T18:07:00.000+08:00

notice how my blog says, "ateneo lost!" and not, "ust wins!"?!?!?

truth is, i don't really care about either teams. it's just that i really do not want ateneo to win this year. do not ask for a specific reason, i would not be able to give you any.

so, ust won both the basketball championships and the cheering competition. congratulations to them. i am so happy for all my tiger friends. notice how i am full of emotion? seriously, i can barely contain myself. sheer joy is running through my veins. ust rules.

oh, have i told you i'm not feeling well today? Ü

later.

Earl Patrick goes public

2006-10-02T17:41:00.000+08:00

finally! after being coerced by my seatmate, i decided to make my first public blog. to think i have already been doing this for years!

besides, who cares about what i think anyway, right?

here's to a new blogging "career"! cheers!